Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Yellow Things, Metal Cages with Wheels......the Saga Begins

So, we all know now that I work for The Mouse. I work in such a role as I greet guest to their choice Lodging at the World of Mouse and then bid some travelers a fond farewell, others are bid an even fonder good riddance.
I find it Amazing that there are those mere mortals among us who consistently believe that The Mouse controls every aspect of what goes on in the World of Mouse. It is beyond my comprehension why grown adults can possibly believe and demand we are in the wrong when we state that it is not true that The Mouse does NOT indeed control the weather. There are times when guest to our World of Mouse baffle me beyond words. They come expecting grandiose things that even mortal humans cannot achieve but The Mouse can.
The Company of The World of Mouse is a wholey human organization, run by humans, manned by humans and most of the illogical gears are thought of by....humans. The Mouse is merely an icon, kind of like the Wizard...who lives in the Emerald City. "We're off to see the Wizard...."
It would be a wonderful thing to read and also comprehend any literature that might come the way of a guest who is intending on departing the comfortable bubble of their home to venture to the World of Mouse.
It would be a SMART thing to pack in a seperate bag all those essential things...
oh say......PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION, allergy mediciation, Asprins, diapers, diaper wipes, some simple snacks or money to purchase simple snacks...oh and maybe some simple toiletries like Contact Lens Solution, an extra pair of glasses, deordorant, toothpaste, toothbrushes, all of these things have been cleared to bring, if you prepare them in the prescribed way that the Federal Government has recommended...oh yes and please add PJ's for all in the family...perhaps even an entire change of clothing for each person. One might thing to even put extra Money, along with any literature that the World of Mouse might have sent to your comfortable bubble of a home. If you must check your other luggage, be intelligent. Pack a carry on bag for each person in the family, if need be, so there won't be the frantic anxiety attack when your luggage hasn't gotten to your place of lodging within the World of Mouse. If you choose to have the convenience of inconvenience of the Magical Mouse Express...there are somethings you might need to know...and they are.....
The Magical Mouse Express has to work in coordination with the Federal Goverment Regulations for luggage dispersal. The luggage that you check at your departing Airport is retrieved IF the Appropriate Notification Marking is attached to your luggage....the YELLOW Thing, for a more simplified term. A Federal Government worker of dubious origin is then instructed by the Magical Mouse Express to gather all those pieces of Luggage that Has the Yellow Thing on them. Then a Federal Government worker of dubious origin then herds these luggage pieces with Yellow Things on them, to a corrall of sorts where Another Federal Government worker of Dubious origin, scans the luggage with yellow things, then they are separated by places of lodging within the World of Mouse, once they are separated they are then sequestered into Metal Cages equipped with Wheels. These Metal Cages equipped with Wheels are then loaded onto white Vans, where they are taken to the Places of Lodging witin the World of Mouse. Once the white vans arrive at the specific places of lodging with in the World of Mouse, they are once again scanned and then they are released from the Metal Cages equipped with Wheels, and they are separated into a scheme devised by the manager of the specific place of Lodging. Where the Luggage with the Yellow Things are then distributed and hopefully re-united with the humans to whom they belong. This whole series of events can and does take any where from 3 to 5 hours from landing to reuniting with guests. This is best case scenario.
Sometimes there are things that even our Mouse's four fingered hands can not control. If for some chance there is Rain....remember the Universal World of Mouse and Whale is located in a semi-TROPICAL area of the contiguous United States, which means that it rains, and with rain comes Lightening. And when Rain and Lightening mix, they can cause havoc, nay even death when Federal Government workers of dubious origin are made to work in such volatile conditions. So the Federal Government workers of dubious origin are not allowed to work when there is Lightening. So this would set the arrival of luggage to the places of Lodging within the World of Mouse back a while. Also there is this other thing that is to be considered....TRAFFIC. The place of arrival into the Universal World of Mouse and Whale is not located close to any specific place of lodging within the World of Mouse, and there are other people in the Universal land of Mouse and Whale. But that is another topic in the list of what must be discussed.
But if you've been a considerate guest you will have read the literature you did receive from the World of Mouse, and you would have thought logically and had packed for each member of the party a carry on bag.
So you can happily arrive at the lodging of your choice within the World of Mouse, ready to embark on a week or more filled with laughter, wonder and family togetherness, and you won't be reduced to spitting sniveling Blob of quivering rage, where you are only embarrassing yourself in front of your impressionable aged children when you screech and hurl those unkind nay even nastily barbed epitaphs at the kind hearted souls who are just trying to do their job and wish you a kind welcome into the World of Mouse. Its not her fault. She didn't savagely wish some sort of mishap with your luggage, why would she? Be warned....If she wanted she can cause your entrance into the World of Mouse to be hindered.....just wait and see.
.....Next time..... How to be a Welcomed Guest, while AT the world of Mouse.


Jessica G. said...

Yeah, mean people suck. :)

People need to take responsibility for themselves. They obviously did not read the literature or completely disregarded it and and now faced with the consequences. Own up to your own negligence, people.

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